Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Socialist Assassin

I was in high school, I believe when the thought first occurred to me.

I am the kind of person who could be a paid assassin. I don't know how it came up, maybe watching a movie, or talking about that kind of thing with friends. Sorting out our personality quirks was one of the things high school kids did regularly.

The realization came quietly, like a banal statement about the weather or stock market, registering no real response from me. All the same, it was fully realized, a sure thing that I had just that moment come to see in myself.

Over the years, the thought has come up here and there. I realize that other people do not relish the thought of taking another human life (and I don't, either!) but I know that deep down I wouldn't have a problem with it in the right instance, either. 

Here is how it plays out in my head:

1. Someone wants this person dead so badly as to relieve themselves of a lot of money to get it done.

2. This is most certainly a bad person. I would never be able to take contracts out for children, or innocent people being murdered for their life insurance policy. This is state level killing, of the type of murderous criminal who is going to cost far more people their lives if not removed from the earth.

3. The planet is overcrowded as it is. This stain of a human being needs to go.

4. Someone is going to get paid to do this. The mark is as good as dead already. That much we can be sure of. So why not take the money?

5. This is a transfer of wealth. The kind of government organizations that can pay the exorbitant sum to a trained assassin to rid the earth of such a person are surely in possession of too much cash, obviously gained under unequal circumstances to the average person, and I am a mere consultant of the masses. This is a subversive socialist action against capitalism while acting within its realm.

As far as I can tell, I do not harbor any other sociopathic or psychotic tendencies. I have real and warm attachments to many people and would never harm an animal (even if paid to do so). I do not have social or behavioral problems, I don't lie on my taxes, I drive at a lawful speed and I generally conform to the rules of society. Other than my leanings as a militant feminist and liberal, you might not ever know I am capable of such a thing. (This also makes for a great cover. Not that I've given it much thought.)

Alas, the opportunity has never arisen, and I never pursued it with military organizations, but suffice it to say- during the zombie apocalypse, I could easily deal with the hordes of the undead, and you better believe I am looting those bodies for cash or valuables.

A girl has to make a living, after all.

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