Wednesday, February 13, 2013


Years ago I worked at a real estate office. It was my first office job. I had worked in retail, but never in an office. I met lots of interesting people, but one of the most memorable was a much older woman (remember, I was very young) and she was just amazing to me. Soft spoken, well put together, smelled great, quietly confident. She would come in and every so often, put her hand on my shoulder while talking to me and then when she would leave, it was as if her hand was still there, such was the impact. Her soothing tone and that hand would put me in a trance while she was speaking.

For years, I wondered what that was. How could that have made me so relaxed? Today, I found out. You see, I have sat at desks for hours upon days upon weeks upon months upon years. I sit there and sometimes, someone will come in and their voice will be so soothing, it will relax me much in the same way as just hearing her talking used to do. They are one in thousands, with just a certain voice. Its like a lullaby.

There is an article out about ASMR. What is that? I wondered. It turns out it stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. This is that great calming feeling you get, a tingling type of relaxation that is nearly impossible to forget and is a craving for some, while for others is a way to get through insomnia. The soothing voices, the soft sound of someone brushing through their hair, painting on a canvas, all of it is white noise, the kind that, for certain people, hits just the right nerve.

Sure, that makes sense. You can fall asleep to a monotone professor, reading a book you are not interested in or watching a boring show about the algae growing in a crack of a rock in space, so I get it. Or I thought I did. Then I watched a video of a woman massaging a package of noodles like she was getting paid to do it. I was all set to start making fun of it and then I fell into the trance. If you can't get to sleep, you can watch these and blissfully dream away. I know, it seems crazy, but this shit is amazing, y'all. Try it out. Search ASMR on You Tube. There is a whole community of people out there getting their fix from soft sounds and providing them for you. I may have just stumbled on the cheapest drug there has ever been...

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