As you know by now, I vacillate between hatred of the human race as a whole and wanting to hear them out, understand where they are coming from and feel like I can be a part of helping them to reach their fullest potential, by somehow lighting their way out of whatever darkness befalls them.
This cycle is on its own timer, there is not a perfect rhythm to it, and it is often started and stopped based on an interaction I have with the general public, or more often, some moron coworker. Nothing, however, is as powerful a force on my feelings about the human race as THE COMMENTS SECTION.
You know what I am talking about. I am a grade A lurker. I read articles, stories, feel good pieces, all of it...then I dive down, deep into the comments section. It has that feel of when you were a kid and you went to the big public pool and you and your friends tried to see who could stay underwater the longest, or swim to the bottom of the diving area and back without breaking the surface. You have to prepare for these endeavors, take a deep breath, and know your limits.
Let me just say that the comments section is one of my guilty pleasures. As a fat girl, you might think that I have Twinkies stashed in my desk drawers or bogo coupons to a local fast food place. Nope. My secret is the closed circuit camera behind my eyes that watches the insane bullshit people put onto web pages because they are desperate for someone to hear their opinion. For someone to think their snarky joke is funny. The weird competition to get more 'thumbs up' or 'likes' for their insightful take on what you all just read.
Sometimes their fury is just too great to be contained within the confines of their office or their mind, and they have to let someone, everyone know just how they feel. I loved lurking because I felt above them. Oh, look at these idiots, fighting it out with their home made weapons and trying to affect real change by attempting to sway one single person with a well placed insult! Rubes!
I finally created an account on one of my favorite websites. Toe in the water. I posted a tiny little comment on a story. Now we are swimming. Then I read an article about the Senate hearing on sexual assault in the military. I'm posting paragraphs and going back hours later to check what has been said about my comments. I have graduated to the diving team.
From the sidelines to the middle of the field, I have risen to the challenge, yet fallen so far. I wanted to be better than this, and then I got side tracked by illusions of grandeur and couldn't help myself. They NEEDED to hear this! Oy. I am embarrassed. And thrilled. Excuse me while I go check and respond...