Monday, November 26, 2012

Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Jobs

So I may have already told you, but I've held a lot of jobs. I would like to tell you how many, but honestly I lost count. It's more than you have had, of that I am sure. That's what happens when you are a dreamer and don't want to be pigeonholed.

Currently I am in the shit stick of jobs. Its a quicksand pile of douchebaggery, punctuated by the ramblings of an overgrown baby in control of the place. Worst of all- I got this job on purpose. I needed a job, I applied, I willed them to interview me and unsurprisingly, they called me in. That was a year and a half ago. Its not even the worst job I've ever had. By a long shot. Its just the latest in a long string of jobs that were 'safe' and made 'sense' and let me get more mileage out of the 'office clothes' I've collected over the last decade and a half.

Now, I know where you are headed.....just stop. Stop right there, put down the "you're lucky to have a job" sign and step away. There. Much better, hmmm? M'kay.

Because I know I am fortunate to be employed. I know lots of people went to college, obtained important degrees and are stuck in jobs that are so far beneath them, they get vertigo stepping into the office. I know that, but unless you are new here, you know that will not stop me from talking about it.

Husband and I are currently embroiled in two of the worst jobs. The actual job description, location, climate, office, clothing, etc. are not the problem. The problem is the people in charge and the culture they create. You learn something from every experience in life, and from this one we are learning to ask, "So what is your management style? and 'How would you say you delegate tasks?', 'What anti psychotic medications are you currently taking?"and other questions to potential employers in future job interviews.

Everyone copes with their horrible, no good, very bad job in one way or another. I have decided that my job is going to get their money's worth out of me. No more than that. And I don't make millions here, so....You get a second blog post today! And you! And you!

Hey, at least I'm not working in retail over this holiday season, but I assure you I did not go to college so that I could help management figure out how to load a stapler. This place has pushed me closer to what I need to be doing than anything ever has. The realization of how much money my superiors make while they watch puppy videos on You Tube is the final crushing blow that forced me to write.

Hubby works for a long distance, self styled Type A manager without enough skills to do his job who has installed a new puppet to do her dirty work/surveillance. Such an oppressively fake atmosphere. In the spirit of terrible jobs we (should be grateful for) hate, let's list jobs we would love:

1. Writer
2. Bed tester
3. Book reviewer
4. Model
5. Secret Shopper
6. Toy company CEO
7.  Ice cream taster
8. Professional Ice Skater
9. New gadget tester
10. Philanthropist

Isn't that better? Now go buy a lottery ticket, I have heard its over $400 Million!

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